meeting minutes -- house meeting at clark perry monday may 20th,
preminutes-- there is a receipt envelope for food expenditures in the pantry, don't add food stamps money into that, it is sperate into private money and communal money
agenda:
-check in on communication experience
-open discussion about communication
-document sharing
-process around meetings and decisions
- little miscommunication on what meeting we are having tonight, will try to be clearer in the future
1. what are we meeting about? -- kehben is super slammed, needs to work with dylan
2. popcorn communication experience
-communication has been intentional which is great, the Lawrence faction has great communication but entering back in has felt a little disconnected, but decisions have been made well
-i have been checked out for the past few days, feel bad about it, on the positive side, has had great conversations in terms of getting to know people and getting on the same page with some people; good skills, good energy, very excited to work with y'all; open to being challenged if others are having difficulty with him
- away team was intense, we are still working on that project which is creating a sort of division
-informal conversations have a lot of jumping in on each other, eager participations, if some people haven't been feeling as ready to participate, it would be nice to have some discussion or mechanism for how to check yourself, even if we're all just cracking jokes around the table
- it's easier to connect t people in smaller groups than the big group stuff, definitely feel the bottleneck of knowledgable experienced people like Kehben and Matt who know who people are etc., so things have to go through them, also felt the vibe of different communication styles---there has been a lot of jumping in and cutting off people who then never get a chance to finish their sentence
-being a quiet person, i will not always be this quiet, and I'm not really familiar with this sort of discussion format, and I'm still figuring out ways to contribute to it
-i've been boisterous and loud, which is not my norm, i've been hyper, which is pleasant, but difficult, i've been hoping to keep myself in check, and encourage others to let me know in polite ways, seconding or thirding the trip to boston concerns, and it has also built up roles that sort of occurred as a result that we have fallen into, and didn't come out of a intentional conversation about roles and what people actually want to be doing, and maybe other people wanted to do that kind of work
-i'd like people to ask me more questions, don't hold back, as long as what you're asking has nothing to do with what i'm doing; i haven't had the chance to meet everyone because i haven't been totally here, which will happen maybe this weekend when we'll all be in the same place doing the same thing! nudge me out of my shell
- i've just been listening intently, not sure what to say; i'm really looking forward to talking less; hopefully soon you'll be able to meet the normal me and not the weird fusebox, but that's where we're at and i'm rollin'; i'm fine with people asking me questions, if people get what they need that gives me more space, i'm getting close to getting all out of tricks; human variables is not necessarily my strong suit, so communicate with each other and with me and nudge me, don't be intimidated by me, i'm not sure about my dog being around new humans, so we're in a temporary situation of trying to figure out what will work, i'm happy hearing what people had to say; remember that we're all in charge of how we move forward, how it's been getting to this point isn't necessarily how it's gotta be
- i'm doing quite well, i'm feeling like a lot of awkwardness in that i think that group when they're in their forming stage there's a lot of awkwardness at least for me personally, and everyone's trying to feel each other out and the space out, and that's part of the formation of the group, and i keep reminding myself of that, i've great small group conversations about how to build a healthy group, this is a big challenging transition, trying to navigate getting emotional needs met and logistical work needs met,
- i agree with everything everyone has said
-we have a color-coded mailbox for notes
-are our couches moldy? KAY WILL GOOGLE THAT
-communication has been difficult trying to balance taking care of the dog and be present, but i tend to sit back so you wont hear a lot from me in meetings anyways
framing this conversation
-this isn't about things going wrong so we need to have a conversation about how to fix it, this is a conversation that every new group needs to have when we form
what if've noticed in groups: some people are task oriented and some are maintenance oriented
- task people think about production/process
-maintanence people tend to be process oriented
-need to make meetings and life include both, both are necessary, and yet can sometimes conflict
-open dialogue about what structures have used/like: stack,
after we are done speaking, everyone take a breath, the speaker will pass it along
- ethan is coming from super-listserv land
-emma likes endgames and beginning times, like having "endings" that are fun and communal to defuse tension; can be structured, the facilitator's job is to bring something to end the meeting
-TK likes start and end times, has worked in a number of different ways, likes ending on a positive thing, likes really structured in terms of time, like having a vibe-checking; maybe 1st 30 minutes just having food, no business, just meeting people and talking, regardless, in the aftermath of the process, there's kind of this 20/20 perspective, what are the mistakes that people don't what to repeat and the simple things to avoid?
-Kehben- it took us a long time to realize that it's not just living and working together, but we're also creating together, and all three have different dynamics of the zone people need to do the different parts well, take care of themselves and other people, the part we could use intentionality around is the dynamic of individuals getting in the zone of being inspired to make things together, it's taken me a long time to figure out what i need, we are not super prolific considering all the resources we have, i have stories and thoughts but not necessarily ideas on how that works
-emma wants to put out that this can be an ongoing discussion, we are still in the early stages, it feels good to kick this off discusssion-wise, it's good to have a full-group intention around this, we can always pick up this conversation at another time
-TK: where are people at with experience with consensus model, living collectively, people should ask if they have questions;
-Kay- I feel good talking this out a bit longer, a pitfall I've seen in other groups is a focus on nailing down process, because we think that's how it should be done, i'd be more excited to flesh out the core values that we want for this experience; in groups like what ethan has experience, there is a way of conflict resolution that emerges, people's upbringing can really influence how they conflict, without thought the typical activist process can be exclusive
-Meg- I agree with a lot of what's been said, in groups i've been a part of, timed meetings have been helpful, closing solidarity clap helps divide the meeting and move into the next thing, having two facilitators, vibe checker is good, in the last house I was part of we had 8+ in the house, when we had conflict we didn't verbally state this but it was always communicated that the intention of caring for one another, the end goal is always to be on the same team in the end, i have intentions of getting through this walking next to you on the end, and that has been really helpful to keep in my mind
- Iggy: that's really beautiful, groups are a lot nicer that have that whether explicit or not, i like what i've heard being said, and not to advocate anything particular, i've had experience with a lot of styles from robert's rules, full consensus, formal consensus, i tend to be goal oriented, business meetings work well for me, feel productive, starting and ending times not just being created but respected, intentional closings and vibe watchings feel good, and because i am business/goal oriented, i'm enjoying trying to take the breathes at the end of everyone speaking; in quaker tradition there is silence; whenever it seems like we were at a place to finish a subitem beyond where it was awkward to give time
-Josh doesn't do email; I don't know if we need a mechanism, or just saying it, taking time to make sure we hear from the less-heard voices, it takes me longer to put together sentences than it used to, if i get interrupted it becomes impossible to get back to it, so I really respect intentionality in giving space; the away team has a very intense communication style the home team had a country-time lemonade ad experience, but hopefully that will settle out
-Kay- in groups in the past i've seen articulations commitments of anti-oppression be either really useful or superficial checklists; we all are coming from different backgrounds, and have different triggering or offensive things that will set us off, how can we communicate that with each other?
-Emma- that's a really good point. I'd like to have an open culture of being able to voice those things when you feel them in a loving way: as Meg said, we're on the same team, and I know it's hard especially when you're just meeting people, but I would love to be part of a community that could talk about those things openly and honestly, not blamey blamey but in a way where we're all learning
-TK - I agree. Along those lines, we're all working on our shit. Good to acknowledge.
-Kehben- really into being in activist spaces where we are all expanding ourselves and stretching and trying to trip out on how we all are different, not make us all the same-- i tend to jump right in when i see that type of scapegoating from the world of "activist robots." Usually when someone shows up in Beeworld that doesn't fit on the checklist, I'm often someone who gets a big kick out of them being around, I think it's good for us to be around people who are "not like us." If I had to list the top five points of friction, that would be one of them-- people who are interested in that work wanting to be around people of like mind, people who are interested in that work pushing themselves outside their zone of comfortability, both are legit, there's people from all over who come and drop in, having those people around is something I care about, it's a way feel our organism moves forward best in the world, that we are tolerant yet invigorating
Iggy- I feel that strongly also. It's super important to have spaces that are accessible to everyone, there are people who are offensive but who are good people.
-Ethan: but people should have space in their homes to feel safe and feel respected and should feel comfortable speaking up if there's someone who makes them feel uncomfortable
-Iggy I agree with that also
-Ethan: What about nonactivist spaces?
- Josh: I'm coming from not a lot of experience with activist communities and collective communities, I was raised in a conservative environment, in activist spaces I feel somewhat stifled sometimes because I don't know what is acceptable to say. I appreciate the sentiment that I'm not going be run off if I don't say the correct thing.
-Matt: I haven't said a lot but I'm reading over Ethan's shoulder!!!! And learning bout y'all.
-TK A more structured model could help us swirling down the drain of more destructive practices later down the road, giving way to a more loose style as we get to know each other Gossip is bad. Communicate directly to people it affects. As we split up into different houses, how can we make sure communicate stretches across the houses? Check-ins and check-outs are really great.
-Kay: it would be fabulous if we let this sit in and then think about proposals for process at a different time?
-Zoe -I hope I'm not making people uncomfortable, I just don't have something to say.
-Sof- It's really stressful if people are put on the spot when they are quiet, it's ok to let people have space to be quiet.
Kehben- Re the speed people process, and task vs. maintenance orientation, the Quakers are great, my observation is that the people who are faster on articulating thoughts vs. the people who need to sleep on it lost touch with other, we made ourselves allergic to our own process by going so fast trying to get stuff done, and it got crazy inside of people, the way meetings are done can lose people quick, i'm excited for there to be more people slower and intentionally oriented, let's not let the most articulate person always have the mic; it's great to remember the turtle wins, fuck you to the capitalist ethic of always going to hell faster
-Matt: two things: one problem i saw is we could get into a discussion that would happen very fast, and people's readiness to process and make decisions would happen very different speeds….and that being able to read and process later is super helpful, because I don't do well just hearing things.
-Igward- Formal consensus includes that no decisions are made in the meeting they are proposed in, having time to go away and come back, that's a modality that's out there, there's a booklet that teaches, I also like reading things
Kay- that's edging towards a proposal, so let's sit with all that ;)
3 Questions, y/n: I'm really wanting to talk abut the types of work i wanna do and learn, i really wanna talk about immediate tasks, i really wanna close this up; for a half hour
cork board, group blog, notes on the kitchen table as a way to reach out to everyone, blog can be hooked up to the email as well
grocery list will be in the kitchen
MEG WILL SET UP THE BLOG
can we call the blog "The Kitchen Whiteboard" and can we title the kitchen whiteboard "The Blog"?
let's plug through that to-do list ASAP
Sof will read the list:
Grange Window Designs and Etching: Emma, TK, Josh, Iggy-- Emma will bottom-line getting the supplies online, TK will bug Gordo about getting a spreadsheet, experimenting the etching fluid and painting the windows will take time, -- will caucus for 15 minutes after this meeting to talk about the options
Pinning the 250th Billboard banner-- got done, Anna got it sewn, now needs grommets, Matt will teach Josh and Zoe,
Packaging and displaying posters- Zoe and Soph and Iggy on top of it, set up 2 displays, will set up 3 tomorrow
Designing Patches - Patches- we have almost 10 almost done, could we do it deadline by Wednesday morning?
Fellowship Application- Easton, Iggy, Ethan, will meet with Kehben
Layout of Banner - done
2nd House is making progress rapidly, kitchen still is kinda shitty
Gabfestry- Josh is riding bull, meeting today got that group up to speed and together
Kickstarter- Kehben and Meg are working on it tonight,
Website- Ethan, Meg, Zoe, Iggy-- meeting next week with Lara,
Updates:
Bank-- Downeast Credit Union needs photo ID, with a letter from Kehben saying you live here,
Sof, Meg, Ethan, Josh, Zoe, (Josh may not need it)
Food Stamps:
Sof, Meg, Ethan, Iggy, Josh, Emma,
Montreal: Renee Bee in Toronto has been dealing with logistics we need to be there 9am Friday, Friday evening on 3rd floor we are talking for twenty minutes about new poster, bookfair starts 9am Saturday full on 9-5 and on Sunday, 1500 people come, 16 of us will be there, Renee found a place for 14 or 15 of us,
we will likely be eating out a lot and getting a lot snacks, likely to be very busy
usually we leave Monday am, one car may leave Sunday night just to get right back to work at the Kickstarter
THE BORDER: we need to figure out car stuff if someone is stuck
tabling shifts will be figured out on Friday when we see the space
we will try just to have a chill time and not worry about the armpit smell
someone is coming from the Maine Development Meeting at 7:30am but we are leaving at 9 on Thursday--8 or 9 hours not including border time
don't bring things you don't want searched, batteries separated from electronics, don't bring any medicines you don't need, clean out the car,
can we make a plan of talking about what to expect at borders
we are crossing in Vermont
TK and Kay will co-coordinate, Emma has contacts
